Three Missional Lessons in Hospitality From a Cruise Ship Crew

1st Peter 4:9 says "Offer hospitality to one another..." The Greek for "hospitality" is philoxenia (philos=love; Xenos= strangers) It means "to love the stranger.

Every one of our churches expresses the desire to share that kind of hospitality with guests but often struggle to do so. Our family (Becky, Jennifer, Mike and I) experienced philoxenia first hand on a cruise of Alaska just a few weeks ago. While the cruise was totally enjoyable, I observed 3 lessons in missional behaviors and attitudes that churches and leaders could learn from.

1) The highest level of care needs to be expressed at the lowest level of the organization: I know there was a captain on our ship because the ship went the right direction, arrived at each port on time and didn't sink. But, I only saw the captain once while he was going up a flight of stairs. However, I saw Bennie our room steward and Lelik and Bramadi our table stewards several times each day. They were warm and friendly, and by the end of the first day they knew all of our names and engaged us in welcome conversation. They expressed care which was genuine. It would have done little good for Holland America Cruise Lines to advertise "we have the most caring captains on the high seas" if those members of the crew who actually worked with passengers were not caring. Even if such and advertisement were true, it wouldn't matter if those who interacted with passengers didn't do the job. We knew that a good captain was commanding the bridge because at every level of the ship's crew, from top to bottom, that level of care was expressed and experienced. By the end of the week, Bennie, Lelik and Bramadi were our good friends. Sometimes in our churches we expect our pastors to be the sole provider of care and everyone's friend. While that might work in a church of 100, it won't work in a church much larger. The world's friendliest pastor can't compensate for unfriendly ushers, greeters and regular church goers. He needs to model that caring and continually teach it to the people in his church.

2) No "insider" language on board: The crew on our ship was mostly Indonesian which means that their native language is Bahasa Indonesia (what we call Indonesian) and yet all spoke English to the mostly American and Australian passengers. Even when they were talking to each other, they did not speak Indonesian but English. I asked one of the crew members about this and he said that this is always done because they do not want a passenger to mistakenly think that crew members are talking them. He also said that "we are here for the passengers and not for ourselves." We could learn much in the church as we have a great deal of "insider" language and expressions.
Our announcements, acronyms and even worship forms often assume others know exactly what we are talking about, even bordering on giving the impression that we never expect a guest to come who doesn't already know "our language." Those of us in the church need to continually ask ourselves how the language, expressions, and lingo affect those who are our guests. We need to speak their language.


3) Substance and style are both vital to a guest's experience: Having a well prepared and delicious meal every night in the dining room on board was promised in all the promos we read before taking the cruise. Card tricks and math riddles (when our steward discovered Becky is a math whiz) every night made our meals memorable. We were made to feel like we were our Stewards "favorites". Having a clean room with made up beds each day was important, but the attention to detail, the towel animals made by our steward each night and the engaging conversation with our room steward made us feel special. One might say "what's so special about that?...that's how every passenger feels."

Exactly -- no one is missed. Every passenger experiences the same level of care. Both the substance of what one experiences on a cruise (safety, good food, exciting destinations, learning about new places and people) and the style (the friendly respect from crew members, the special touches to keep everything spotless, making you feel important) are both vital to the experience. However, if it were all style and the food was bad, we were late arriving at every port or the ship sank, none of the style would have mattered. If the substance was gotten right but the crew was unfriendly and the ship dirty, most people would not sail with that cruise line a second time.

In our churches, it is important to get substance (Biblically faithful theology, God honoring worship, correct division of Law and Gospel, Theology of the Cross) right while we pay close attention to style (appropriate worship forms, welcoming environment, effective discipling methods). It is all part of what guests and members experience.

A New Look at Discipling --- Agree or Disagree?

David Putnam (Breaking the Missional Code, Broadman & Holman, 2006) offers a new look at the discipleship process that he says most missional churches have discovered. They challenge our thinking. What do you think? Do you agree or disagree with his findings?

DISCIPLESHIP:

1. ...begins prior to conversion. In today's context, conversion is part of the journey and will often require years of participation in a local congregation before a person goes public with his or her faith. New missions are already figuring out how to do church in such a way that makes this possible for those who are just learning about Christ.
2. ...involved participation in a faith community prior to conversion. Churches will need to recognize the importance of relationships as the currency that moves the unreached and unchurched person toward genuine discipleship. Members of those churches spend more time connecting with unchurched people, loving them genuinely even if they don't become believers right away.
3. ...often involved participation and experience with the Christian community prior to conversion. Non-believers have even gone on mission trips with believers and along the way have come to know Jesus. Churches that understand this are proactive in creating experiences for those on such a journey.
4. ...involves participation in service prior to conversion. Churches that understand this encourage their members to invite unchurched friends to participate in service to the community. The very act of serving in a Habitat for Humanity project along side churched Christians may be used by God to move someone toward faith in Christ.
5. ...does not require "club membership" in the church before someone is permitted to usher, play in worship band, sing in a choir or even read the scriptures aloud in worship. Churches that understand this trust that the very fact that an unchurched person wants to participate in serving, in mission, or in worship - may expose people to the means the Holy Spirit uses to bring someone to faith.

So - what do you think? Do you agree? Are there others you would add to the list?

Sharing Jesus in Third Places

Each of us has a First Place,Second Place and a Third Place.

First Place for most people living in the developed world is the home. This is often a place of closely guarded privacy. The Second Place is where we work. The workplace can often be a place of huge demands and pressure. Third Places vary by context and culture and may be places like pubs and restaurants, places like Starbucks, sports team parents groups and anywhere that people feel free to be themselves. Kind of like the bar in Cheers, "where everybody knows your name." People will spend hours in Third Places and may know more about the lives of people there than most people in churches know about each other. Third Places are where the relationships that knit our society together are formed and fashioned. For many Christians, "church" is their Third Place. Often we expect people who are far from Christ and His family to come to our Third Place. After all, we feel so comfortable and welcomed there, we think that they should too...but they don't come. Perhaps what we need to do is meet folks in their own Third Place.

Why should Third Places matter to Christians? They are where we can learn about the culture of our communities. There we can learn about people's everyday struggles and concerns are. They are places we can ask spiritual questions. They are the places we can share Jesus. Afterall, people who don't know Jesus rarely come to our First Place , and often we are not permitted to talk about Jesus in our Second Place. Where are the Third Places in your community?

Where does this concept come from? Michael Frost's book, Exiles: living missionally in a post-Christian culture (Hendrickson, 2007)is the place. Michael is Australian and Professor of Evangelism at Moorling College in Sydney Australia.

Should Small Churches Plant Churches?

[from an article by Rev. Ken Behnken, Center for U.S. Missions]

How often haven’t we heard the excuse that we will plant another church when we get larger? How large is larger? At what point do you, as a new mission start, start thinking about having a family? This is something newly married couples discuss already in their courting days. By the time they are pronounced husband and wife they already have a pretty good idea about when they will start their family.

New church plants ought to be doing the same thing. The initial mission plan should include “family planning.” When will we start having children? It is never too early to plant a new church. Many non-denominational churches are grooming a team for a new church plant in their first year of existence. By the time they reach 100 members they are ready to give away leaders and members to help start the next church.

If we are serious about reaching more people with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, then we need to be thinking exponentially. We have daughter churches that have daughter churches that have daughter churches. This is New Testament thinking. Paul, Barnabas, Timothy, and the early apostles did not plant a church and wait until it grew to a certain size. As soon as there were leaders established in the new church, they were off to plant the next church.

Yes, it is costly. It will cost you money, people, leaders and delayed dreams. Your initial church would probably be larger if you did not plant another congregation. It is easy to get so focused on our own turf that we forget to look at the Kingdom.

A newly-married couple that selfishly chooses not to have children because it would interfere with their occupations and dreams of material wealth, come to the end of their lives having multiplied things but not themselves. When you plant a daughter church, you have multiplied yourself and are reaching twice as many people. As your daughter congregations plant new churches, the multiplication continues. Think of the joy you receive by watching God bless your children. Think of the joy you will have watching God bless your daughter churches. Think of the family reunions as you get together with your daughter churches and your granddaughter churches.

It is never too soon to start thinking about multiplying your church family. Prayerfully seek God’s guidance and then watch Him perform the miracle.